The Five Types of Albums

So you know when you first hear that a band has come out with a new album. You purchase/download the album, play it through for the first time, and afterward you either love it or hate it, right? WRONG! Music is not that simple. But don't worry, I think I've figured out. You see, albums can be broken down into 5 unique categories of quality. These categories are based solely upon how that new album stacks up to other albums within that same artist/band's discography, because after all, each band has its own unique sound, and comparing albums across bands is like comparing apples and oranges (although I will attempt to do this anyways when I give you my list of "Top Albums of the 2000s" later this year). So here they are, my five categories, ranging from the best to progressively worse.

1) The Revelation: This is the album, that when you hear it, it's like you've had some type of miraculous religious experience. In relation to the band's previous work, The Revelation makes those albums seem amateurish and insignificant. It's like looking back at those pictures you have of yourself all pimply-faced and wearing braces back in the sixth grade, when you just want to tell that person in the picture to just wait, things will get better, oh yes, they will get better. This is what The Revelation is, it's that rare album in which a band makes a quantum leap to another level of greatness, a level that's so great, in fact, that you find it nearly impossible to listen to any of their earlier works.
Example: LCD Soundsystem- Sound of Silver

2) The Caffeine Pill: This album, much like the revelation, knocks you off your feet right from the get go. You forget about the rest of the band's albums, and find yourself listening to this album solely for weeks. But, unlike the revelation, the excitement you feel is simply ephemeral, and just like a caffeine pill, you lose your rush after awhile. Why these albums grab you so forcefully, who knows? It may be that it's so different from the band's previous works, or the songs are extremely catchy, either way, the novelty wears thin at some point. Perhaps you encounter a hangover period, and you're unable to listen to this album for awhile after your initial high. But, nonetheless, the caffeine pill is still a very good album, and even through a sober analysis, it stacks up quite well to the rest of the artist's discography.
Example: Kanye West- 808s and Heartbreak

3) The Ugly Duckling: This is one I'm sure you're all familiar with. As we all know, sometimes you'll hear an album for the first time, and you won't really like it. Much like The Caffeine Pill, the reasons why are a mystery, but in most instances, the sound on the album is just different. This is especially difficult when you go in for your first listen expecting more of the same signature sound from that band, only to be completely surprised by what you hear. Many of you will be turned off by this new sound, and will immediately write off the album as a failure. But, out of the blue, a song or two will from that album will come up on your shuffle a few weeks later, and all of a sudden it clicks, and you dive back in for a second and third listen. It is then that you finally begin to appreciate the album for what it is, a truly great piece of work. It's no longer the ugly duckling, it's matured into a majestic swan....no homo.
Example: Kings of Leon- Because of the Times

4) The Clunker: The name of this category pretty much explains it all. This is the ugly duckling that never develops, it just continues to look stupid and lame. Often times it will be from a band that you really like, and when you face the disappointment of hearing this album for the first time you'll say to itself, "that's ok, give it time, I'm sure it will grow on me..." Alas, it never does. You might be able to salvage one or two songs from the album for regular ipod play, but on the whole, you'll wish you could trade this album in for a cash credit to go towards a more listener-friendly album. Better luck next time.
Example: Cold War Kids- Loyalty to Loyalty

5) The Arc of the Covenant: The most destructive force ever known to man. Forget about growing on you, this album is so painfully awful that it will literally melt your face off. Worse yet, it's so bad that you will question why you ever listened to this band in the first place, and you'll find yourself unable to listen to their previous work ever again, let alone any of their future albums. The only thing to do with this album is to lock it up in a large wooden crate, and then hide it in a giant warehouse somewhere.
Example: Coldplay- X & Y (YOU HEARD ME!!)


As you can tell, time also factors in quite heavily to this rubric. How much time needs to pass by in order to know a clunker will not become an ugly duckling? That's up to you, but I say it's no more than 3-4 listens over a month's time. Also, as you can probably tell, the middle categories tend to be the most common, while Revelations and Arcs of the Covenant are extremely rare. As for debut albums, in which there's no other albums to compare them to, then it's anything goes...you either love it or you don't.

So there it is, my five simple, and very user friendly categories for evaluating a new album. Try it yourself sometime! Now, for my next post, I will put my system straight to the test, as I review the latest Arctic Monkey's album. Stay tuned...

-PG

Coach, would you ever play to lose the game?

The 2009 Football season is rapidly approaching, and you know what that means, the return of the Coors Light press-conference spoof commercials. The other day I saw the first of season, a hilarious rendition of Herm Edwards's famous "You Play to Win the Game" tirade, and that got me thinking of all the great moments in sports press conference history. After much thought, I've compiled a list of what I have deemed to be the Top 10 Moments in Sports Press Conference History. I'm sure there's one or two I forgot, so please, feel free to chime in.






10) We lost as a team

Context: The Cowboys had just lost to the NY Giants in the Divisional Round of the 2008 playoffs. It was the second straight year the Cowboys suffered a disappointing end to their Super Bowl run, and it was the second straight year quarterback Tony Romo played below par. This time, the media was even quicker to point a finger in Romo's direction, especially after he spent the bye week leading up to the game vacationing in Cabo with then girlfriend Jessica Simpson. When reporters asked Terrell Owens if that had caused his quarterback to be unprepared, the normally combative wideout broke down in tears over the abuse his quarterback was receiving.

My take: This is almost as bad as Adam Morrison's tantrums during his Gonzaga days. Now T.O. is off to Buffalo, and I can only ask, haven't Bills fans suffered enough?





9) Lady Wolverines

The Context: The video actually does a good job of explaining this in the intro. Basically the Lady Wolverines blow a twenty point first half lead, give up 23 offensive rebounds, and can't get any favorable calls from the refs. Frustration ensues.

My take: The coach's entrance alone makes this press conference top 10 worthy, but his anger peters out as the press conference goes on, preventing it from being ranked higher.






8) Play to win the game

Context: The New York Jets begin the 2002 season 2-5. Following the embarrassing fifth loss at the hands of the hapless Cleveland Browns, a reporter asks Coach Herm Edwards if his team has the ability to win football games. What follows is Herm's famous tirade, featuring his now famous "You Play to Win the Game" line. The fiery speech must have gotten through to his players, as the Jets went 7-2 the rest of the way and reached the playoffs.

My take: Proof that even the funniest of outbursts can have a positive effect on a team. Angry speeches from coaches don't always work, but as a fan you like to see some passion from your team's coach.





7) DIDDLY-POO

Context: Another situation with a football team getting off to a poor start, this time it's the Jim Mora coached New Orleans saints beginning the 1996 season at 2-6. After losing to the Carolina Panthers (who had only been around for one full season) 19-7, Mora had these words to sum up the defeat. Mora resigned as head coach shortly thereafter, and the Saints finished the season at 3-13.

My take: Call him the anti-Herm Edwards. Whereas the Jets made it to the playoffs after his tirade, Jim Mora ends up quitting and the Saints tank the rest of the way. I guess not all outbursts are created equal.





6) WHEN I SEE YOU, I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS!

Context: After UMASS defeated Temple during the 1994 season, Temple coach and legend John Chaney took umbrage at the fact that UMASS coach John Calipari had intimidated the refs, and continued to harass them even after the game was over. Chaney, for his part, had taken some heat for doing the same sort of things a week earlier, so he was especially peeved to see Calipari getting off scot-free. Chaney was so angry in fact, that he interupted Calipari's post game conference, and threatened bodily harm to the UMASS coach.

My take: Chaney was over sixty years old at the time, and he still was fiery as ever. This is the rare time in which the other side steals the show at the press conference. I also found Calipari's comment of, "Somethings never cease to amaze me," to be particularly amusing though. You know what never ceases to amaze me? Calipari's sleaziness. He ran a dirty program at UMASS, the NCAA just made Memphis forfeit all his wins during his title run in 2008 because of cheating player eligibility requirements, and now he'll probably cheat some more at Kentucky. Careful what you wish for Wildcats fans.








5) THE BEARS ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE

The Context: Despite taking a 20-0 halftime lead, holding the Bears to three points offensively, and forcing the bears to commit 6 turnovers, the Bears still beat the Arizona Cardinals 24-23 on a Monday Night game in 2006, thanks to some special teams heroics from rookie Devin Hester, and some costly second half turnovers by the Matt Leinart led Cardinals. The normally laid back Dennis Green is absolutely beside himself after the loss, and it shows as he storms off after a short but memorable tirade to the press. The victory kept the Bears undefeated on the season, and they would go on the Super Bowl that year, only to lose to the Peyton Manning led Colts. The Cardinals, on the other hand, went 5-11 on the season, and Green got canned at the end of the season.

My take: I still remember this game vividly, and it will remain one of the most improbable comebacks I've witnessed in a football game (the other being ND's comeback win over MSU in 2006). Some of Green's lines from this one became instant fan favorites, especially with Bears fans, and it too would one day be lampooned in a Coors Light commercial.





4) WE'RE TALKING ABOUT PRACTICE

The Context: The Answer, A.I., Allen Iverson, gets fed up with reporters after his Sixers end up losing in the 2002 NBA playoffs. Coach Larry Brown had been critical of Iverson up to this point, citing his failure to show up at some practices. When reporters corner A.I. on this topic, Iverson gives a long, rambling speech on practice.

My take: I think if you count the number of times he says practice in this one, it comes out to 25 or something. No one who watched A.I. during his career could say he wasn't a warrior on the court, but he was certainly lacking in the leadership department. Showing up to practice is just something a leader needs to do.





3) PLAYOFFS?

The Context: Coach Mora is back! This time he's the coach of the Indianapolis Colts, but once again his team is off to a disappointing start. After a loss to the 49ers dropped his team to 4-6, Coach Mora is asked about his team's playoff's chances. What follows is the stuff of press-conference lore. Mora's sentiments turned out to be well-founded, as his team only won two more games that season, and once again Mora was without a job at season's end.

My take: Poor Coach Mora, he just could never motivate a team with his outbursts. His delivery of the word "playoffs" is what makes this clip such a classic, and it's probably the one thing people will remember about him the most. Was also turned into a great Coors Light commercial, in which the guys asked Coach Mora if they should talk about the playoffs with their female companions.





2) BOBBY KNIGHT

The Context: It's the 1993 NCAA tournament and a reporter asks Bobby Knight about how one of his players will "look" the next season. Bobby Knight is clearly annoyed by this question, and he delivers one of his funniest speeches.

My take: Picking your favorite Bobby Knight moment is like picking the best Beatles album, it's nearly impossible. You can find even more here . I especially like the game face one towards the end.






1) I'M A MAN I'M 40

The Context: The Oklahoma State Cowboys had just defeated Texas Tech during the 2007 regular season. Rather that talking about the game afterwards, OK State coach Mike Gundy chose to address an article written that week about recently demoted QB Bobby Reid, an article which called into question the qb's mental toughness. Coach Gundy took great offense at this article, and called out the offending reporter during this classic press conference.

My take: The pinnacle of post-game sports press conferences. What sets this one apart from the rest of the pack is the sheer number of quotable lines, topped off by the immortal, "I'm a man! I'm 40!" The speech has been spoofed many times, but my favorite can be found right here. I'll tell you one thing, when I reach 40, I know exactly what the theme of my party will be.





BOUNUS: PRESS CONFERENCE REMIX!

This was done by DJ Steve Porter (who also came up with this gem), and it does a great job of mixing together a number of clips from above, plus a special guest appearance from a liquored up Broadway Joe.



That's it for the list of all-time sports press conference moments. With youtube becoming ever more prevalent, I can only imagine that we will be provided with many more hilarious moments in the years to come.


-PG

Lolla 2009 Day 3: the hazards of crowd-surfing

Sunday was the third and final day of lollapalooza, and it was by far the hottest day of the three. With the heat index touching triple digits, and little shade available throughout the park, there was really little choice but to get baked under the blistering sun and sweat until your clothes were drenched. i must have lost close to 10 lbs just from the sweat, but those 10 lbs were but a small price to pay for a day of music and fun. anyways, onwards to the rundown...


1:10 p.m.- we've just entered the park after grabbing some lunch at mcD's . after buying some water, we make our way to the playstation stage, where we are able to snag a spot beneath a wall which is offering just enough protection from the sun where, if we sit down, we're able to be completely out of the sun. money. as we sit there enjoying the valuable protection from the midday sun, we can hear a band wrapping up they're set at the bud stage nearby. i immediately start enjoying the catchy dance-rock that i'm hearing, and look at my schedule to find out the name of the band. turns out they were a british band called friendly fires. as i'm reading their bio, a familiar tune comes up, which i recognize immediately from this recent commercial for wii fit. i liked the set so much in fact that i downloaded their self-titled album, and let me tell you, it's rock solid. i highly suggest checking it out. my favorite tracks include "skeleton boy" and "photobooth".


1:38- still entrenched in our shady spot by the playstation stage, where a band called portugal. the man. is now playing. according to the band's bio, the indie-rockers hail from a little town called wasilla, ak...perhaps you've heard of it? i wish i could say that band's performance could redeem that town's reputation in my eyes, but i wasn't really digging their stuff. they seemed to be having some difficulty with their sound, as the whole set came off rather fuzzy sounding. my other friends seemed to enjoy them though, so it may have just been an issue of personal taste.


2:15 p.m.- i've made it over to the bud stage where i meet up with nicole and kyle to wait for the kaiser chiefs to go on. once again the same old lolla clips are playing on the jumbotron, and at this point it's gotten beyond ridiculously annoying. my advice to the lolla organizers for next year, instead of having the same 10 clips play on loop all weekend long, why not show some video of the crowd. people love to people watch, and believe me, with the type of people coming to lollapalooza, you're not going to find much better people watching than that.


3:29- the kaiser chiefs are just wrapping up their set, and i must say that i was really glad i chose to see them. in reality, the band has only two or three really good songs, particularly "everyday i love you less and less" and "ruby", (which i posted a video of below), so i was skeptical of their ability to keep me entertained for a whole hour. but what i didn't know was that their lead singer could work a crowd so well. he jumped down off the stage on several occasions to climb up on the fence separating the crowd from the stage, and during all the songs he directed the crowd to either wave their arms side to side or up and down, or clap along with the beat. the best moment however, was when he climbed up on top of a ten foot tall speaker on the side of the stage and then tossed his mike into the crowd below, who caught the mike and took turns belting out the chorus. the kaiser chiefs may not have been the best band to play that weekend, but there were very few bands that worked the crowd better than they did.




4:00 p.m.- back at perry's with cas, coadman, and carol, to catch a bit of the hood internet,which was, as my friend cas described, "a poor man's girl talk". they mashed together a bunch of different songs (the best was when "rollout" came on), and the crowd seemed to enjoy it. but i think what really got the crowd excited was the free water bottles the lolla volunteers were distributing throughout the crowd. many took their free water and started spraying it up in the air and dousing the overheated crowd. i grabbed two myself and downed one almost instantaneously. with my thirst slayed and my dance fix satisfied, we moved onwards.

5:27 p.m.- we're at the citi stage, where "girl talk" played his amazing set a year ago, and we're right in the middle of passion pit's set. you can usually tell how much a crowd is enjoying a set by the number of people crowd surfing, and after the first few songs, there was a sea of crowd surfers being passed throughout the audience. seeing as we were pretty close to the stage, we started to get a steady stream of surfers pass our way. the shit hit the fan, however, when one young man passed over cas's head, and as cas reached up to pass the kid forwards, the kid's foot swung suddenly, striking my friend in the face and knocking his glasses off. the blow sent cas reeling, meanwhile the kid, without enough support below him, feel crashing to the pavement below. the kid got up and seemed just fine, but that was it for cas, as he went scurrying for the sidelines to nurse his wounds. other than that incident, though, the set was a good one, featuring a lot of upbeat electro-pop tunes. i recommend checking out their album, titled "manners."


6:40 p.m.- i've reunited with cj, nathan, and matty ice, who've found a nice little spot on a hill flanking the south field, which is the field south of buckingham fountain. taking the opportunity to get off our feet, we sprawl out on the ground and take a little break. meanwhile, way far down at the end of the field, snoop dogg has begun his set at the chicago 2016 stage. always the consummate entertainer, snoop dogg worked the crowd into the frenzy, at one point shouting out, "if you want to get f*cked up tonight, throw your hands up and say, hellll yeah!" i surveyed the people around me on the hill, and saw a thirty-something couple lift their cans of beer up, a group of teenage girls throw their hands up with glee, and a twenty something dude light up his pipe to take a hit. it was then that i thought to myself that only snoop dogg could elicit such a response from such a diverse group of people.

8:15 p.m.- we're at the nearby vitamin water stage, and the silversun pickups are ripping through their set. the smashing pumpkins sound a likes played very well in the first time i've seen them live, my only complaint is the volume on their guitars seemed a little low. i've attached a video of their rendition of "panic switch" down below.


9:50 p.m.- the killers are just wrapping up their set. i used to really love these guys, but i've sort of gotten over them as time pass. they played a workman like set, going through most of their hits with each one sounding like they may sound on the album. i'm also still a little ambivalent to lead singer brandon flowers. the guy seems to really want to be a great front man, mixing a little bit of freddy mercury and bruce springsteen. the problem is he just doesn't have the charisma or bravado to pull it off effectively. at one point he told a story of the band's flight from las vegas to chicago, narrating the trip from take off to "flying over the majestic rockies" to touching down in chi-town, all while some johnny cash like train music played in the background. i could only shake my head at how cheesy it was. nonetheless, playing hits like "somebody told me", "spaceman", and "read my mind" (see below), they played like a worthy headliner and were a fitting end to the weekend.








That'll wrap up Lolla 2009. Lots of great music, lots of sunshine, lots of budweiser, and a lot of fun. Can't wait til next year!

-PG

Lolla 2009 Day 2: When is the music going to start??

Saturday was day 2 of lolla. After waking up, showering, buying some underwear and socks (that's another story entirely), and grabbing a burrito at chipotle, we were back at grant park by 1 p.m. Overall I'd say it was the most eventful day of the weekend...I saw the best performance of the weekend, the most awkward sight of the weekend, and witnessed a set that never seemed to start. But enough with the intro, let's get down to the play by play.


1:47 p.m.- after grabbing some beers, danny, matty ice and i made our way to the tiny little bmi stage to catch a man by the name of langhorne slim. none of us had really heard of the dude, but we were mildly intrigued by his bio, which boasted his "old timey folk and country blues sound" and suggested he would have been in his element "selling snake oil to rubes at county fairs" back in the day. So with a bio like that, we really had no choice to check him out. Without a doubt, his band sounded much different from any other band at the fest...I mean I don't remember any other band featuring a stand up bass. Overall, I actually kind of enjoyed him too...sounded like something straight from the "oh brother where art thou?" soundtrack. but, after 4 or 5 songs, we grew tired of his old timey sound, and moved onwards.


2:11 p.m.- we make our way to perry's for some more dj sets, which quickly reminded us what century we were living in. Up on stage was a couple of djs by the name of kaskade, and they were playing some generic club music while two go-go dancers did their thing on stage. overall it was very forgettable, but the one thing that will forever stick out in my mind is the couple dancing just yards away from us. it was a woman, red hair, late 30s, and a dude, same age, kind of spanish looking, and without a shirt. the sun was also beating down that day, so the two were dripping with sweat...and let's just say that they were not shy about rubbing the sweat all over each other. i pointed the two out to my buddies, and after danny saw them he looked like he might vomit his burrito all over the place. easily the most awkward and heinously disgusting spectacle i saw all weekend.


2:47 p.m.- we're still at perry's and this band called animal collective is playing some strange island music, much like they type your dad might hear as he picks out his summer vacation shirt from tommy bahama (please tell me my dad isn't the only one). Now I had never heard any of their music before, but i suggested we checked them out after hearing that the album they released earlier this year, called "merriwether post pavilion" had been one of the most critically acclaimed albums of 2009 to date (received an 89 on metacritic in fact, which is extremely high). So after nearly 20 minutes of this inexplicable island music, we just assumed that the set hadn't actually started yet. wrong. another twenty minutes go by, and still the same bland island tunes. at this point we decided to cut our losses and move on with our day. although it's difficult to explain such an inexplicably bad set from a supposedly talented band, my theory is this: fresh off a widely acclaimed album, they got cocky and went into what "the sports guy" likes to call "eff you mode", by playing whatever they damned well pleased. Well if that was their goal then they definitely succeeded, because we all felt effed in the "a" by the time we left. screw you animal collective.

4:30 p.m. after animal collective we made our way to the bud stage so that we could get up close for the band i had been eagerly waiting to see all weekend: arctic monkeys. the boys from sheffield, england must have been high on a lot of other people's list as well, because even an hour before their set the crowds extended well behind the sound tent in front of the stage. when they finally did step on stage they were not only sporting a new look (long hair for all but the drummer) but also some new songs from their upcoming album. in fact, they played a good deal of new numbers, which i typically despise when bands do this at concerts. despite my disappointment, it was cool to get a taste of their new sound, which sounds a lot more muscular and more mature then their earlier work. i particularly liked "crying lightning" which i think would fit perfectly in the opening credits of a bond movie (at least much better than the jack white/alicia keys song from "quantum of solace"...vomit in my mouth). So, between the new songs and old favorites such as "i bet you look good on the dancefloor", "brianstorm", and a soaring rendition of "505" to close the set, i'd say i was pretty satisfied (although i would've liked to hear more old stuff, like "teddy picker").


5:38- after arctic monkeys, i made my way over to the stage opposite the bud one to catch a little of santigold. i didn't stay long because i wanted to get back to get a good spot for the next band playing on the bud stage, but this brooklyn based singer definitely had the crowd moving for her set. i stayed long enough to hear "l.e.s. artistes" and "lights out" (which is featured in a miller chill commercial) and if you haven't checked her out yet i highly recommend that you do.


6:14- back at the bud stage and with a pretty decent spot up in front of the sound tent. i quickly notice that the same exact video montage of past lolla's is playing on the jumbotrons, and it's starting to get a little annoying seeing the same exact clips over and over. i'm also getting annoyed when everytime a clip of daft punk playing in 2007 comes up some d-bag nearby shouts out something like "ohhhh shiittttt, that show was INSANE!" (actually i'm more jealous than anything, because i would've loved to see them that year.

6:32- finally another band i had been waiting to see, tv on the radio, steps on stage, and quickly rips into a raucus hour long set. they played a number of hits from "dear science" which was easily one of the best albums of 2008, as well as some older songs like "wolf like me" which probably generated the most frenzied reaction from the audience of any other song played all weekend. i heard in the days afterwards that tv on the radio didn't sound that great and was having some sound issues, but honestly, i had zero complaints. these guys are an absolute force live, and i recommend seeing them if you get the chance.


8:30- after grabbing some food and taking a little siesta, we return to our spot at the bud stage to catch the headliner for the night, the yeah yeah yeahs. we new right away we were in for an interesting show when the lead singer karen o came out on stage dressed in some crazy technicolor headdress....part chief illiniwek and part elton john. this band was a last minute replacement for the beastie boys, who had to skip the weekend due to illness, and without a doubt they turned in the strongest overall set of the weekend. mixing together powerful rock numbers ("gold lion", "phenomena"), crowd thumping dance numbers ("heads will roll", "zero") and sing a long ballads ("maps"), they had a little something for everyone. adding to the spectacle was a pair of giant inflatable eyeballs which got tossed from the stage into the crowd during the middle of the set, and, of course, karen o's flamboyant on stage antics, which included bizarre costumes, spitting water out of her mouth like a dolphin shooting water from it's spout. the weirdest thing of course, was during the middle of singing maps, easily their most well known song, she stopped singing, and went "shit, i forgot the words!" (which is sad really, because i can get like a 96 easily on rock band doing that song!) the crowd merely laughed it off though, because on this night, with the way they were playing, they could do no wrong. once again, the best overall show of the weekend.



that'll just about wrap up day two of lolla. day three will be the third and final day, which means there's still plenty of music to talk about. stay tuned for more...


-PG

Lolla 2009 Recap: Day 1

As those who know me, or even have had the pleasure of living with me, can attest, I love music. You get me at a party, and before long I find out where the music is at and I start blazing some beats on that i-pod. So, you get me in a park with 130 bands playing over the course of three days, and it's like Christmas, St. Patrick's, and NFL draft day all rolled up into one. Well, as it turns out, this uber-holiday was this past weekend, and it was called Lollapalooza 2009. 130 bands, eight stages, three days, and I'd say ohhhhhh about 8 thousand pallets full of beer.

Sound pretty good right?? Well it was good....pretty hella-damn good in fact. So, at this time, I'd like to give some of you who didn't get a chance to attend this year a little rundown of some of the great music on display. I plan on going through each of the three days, one by one, and break down all the sets I was able to see. My only caveat is that I'm not a music expert. If you want to know all the technical ins and outs of what makes one band better than the other, I'm not the guy to ask. But I know what I like, and I know a good sound when I hear one. So without further ado, I give you day one of Lollapalooza 2009.



2:18 p.m. - My friend matty ice and I arrive at grant park amid gray skies and a steady drizzle of rain. Despite these gloomy conditions, the crowds are pouring in. As we enter the park we are immediately greeted by the imposing "Budweiser stage" located on the north end of the park. No band was playing at the time, but on each side of the screen were two jumbotrons, playing clips of sets from lollapaloozas past. "What a novel idea," I thought, "why there's Jane's Addiction back in 1991, and there's a clip of Girl Talk in 2008...the set was sickkkk yo!" (mind you i thought that, i don't really talk like that...seriously) We then made our way to the nearest info tent to get the day's schedule and plan out our concert viewing.

3 pm- Matt and I meet up with our other friends Nathan and Chris. We decide to head over to "Perry's" which is a stage dedicated solely to dj sets. As soon as we entered Perry's we knew that we were in store for a good weekend, as the crowd assembled was jumping up and down, with many clutching bud tall boys in one hand. It basically looked like the dance floor at Finny's, only transplanted to the great outdoors. The group playing at the time went by the name of dark wave disco, and their music did not disappoint. They kept the dancefloor moving with remixes of mgmt's "kids" and cut copy's "hearts on fire", and before long the four of us started bouncing along with the crowd. At one point a young and clearly intoxicated lass turned around and started dancing all up on yours truly. Luckily, I was wearing a backpack out in front over my chest (so I can keep an eye on my stuff, you dig???), which created a nice buffer zone between myself and the young lady. Doing my patented double fist pump dance, and with the girl jumping up against my backpack, we looked like a girl humping a pregnant walrus.


4:09 p.m.- the rain has started falling harder, and as the breeze blows in over the lake the crowd starts to shiver. luckily, we've assemble back at the bud stage, and crafty rock veteran ben folds has stepped on stage to warm the crowd up. Now I'll be honest, I've been over the whole ben folds phenomenon for a couple years now. Nonetheless, I'll have to admit he put on a pretty good show. Playing crowd pleasers such as "rockin the suburbs" and "b*tches ain't shit", mr. folds kept the fans satisfied and singing along throughout.

5:38 p.m.- matty ice and i have now made our way to the south side of the park to catch a little of electro-pop band crystal castles in action. the stage conveniently sat on a softball field, which on this rainy day had turned into a mud pile. Since neither of us really felt like dancing in a cesspool (people, i've grown standards since leaving the poo-water soaked dancefloors of south bend), we quickly left after a few songs.


6:29 p.m. back at the north field, where matty ice and i were meeting up with coadman and carol. meanwhile on the bud stage, the decembrists were playing their set, and matty ice made the observation that they sounded good....maybe too good. Carol then points out that she heard that they perform with special microphones that play their album through the mike and sort of corrects their voices and instruments as they play...sort of like an auto-tuner. Sorry decembrists, that's a deal breaker, if you want to be on a boat with t-pain that's fine, but if you come to an outdoor festival like lolla, you better bring the real thing. major fail.


7:34 p.m. - we've managed to nudge our way up to the sound-tent in front of the bud stage where cas and his bro matty cas are, and await friday's main event kings of leon are set to go on at 8:15. I notice that the jumbotrons are still playing clips of lolla past, and this time I take notice of some other clips. "Oh snap!" I thought, "Butthole Surfers played in 1991? What I wouldn't do to be at that show! Wow, and there's....slash playing guitar at the kids stage in 2008? ummm, yeah that's kind of creepy, but pretty cool!"

8:15 p.m.- kings of leon steps on stage. I had already seen them once before at a smaller venue, but in front of tens of thousands at grant park these guys were truly in their element. after opening with "be somebody", they rolled through a string of old favorites like "taper jean girl" and "charmer." throughout the show the lead guitarist showed off his skill with some tasty licks on the guitar, and lead singer caleb kept the audience in the palm of his hand with powerful and southern-fried voice (no auto-tuner there!) all in all, a very fun set, and these guys showed that they can be a headlining force to be reckoned with for years to come.

9:45 p.m.- i cut out of KOL a little early to catch the end of kanye west protege kid cudi's set back at the perry's stage. i enjoy hip-hop as much as anyone, and based on what i heard, he was ok. a few catchy numbers, but he's still very raw at this point. at one point he cut the music out entirely, and went into a free-style verse. as long as he has mr. west backing him though, he should be just fine.

at this point, i remembered that i had video capabilities on my camera, and took this little video, seen below:






Kid cudi finished up day one of the show for me. Afterward it was off to hit the town. What would day 2 have in store? Would the sun ever come out? Would I even make it after a long night out? Stay tuned.


-PG

Good Evening and Welcome

Friends and loved ones,

The idea of starting a blog has been gestating in my mind for some months now. Finally, the day of action is here, and I have given birth to my brain-child. I have chosen to name him "The Human Torch Was Denied A Bank Loan...(and other random headlines)." As many of you will have guessed, the name itself is a tip of the cap to the great movie "Anchorman", which is still one of my favorite comedies of all time. Like the film's hero, Ron Burgundy, who loved poetry, a glass of scotch, and his dog baxter, my tastes are equally simple...all I really need in life is a catchy tune, some good laughs, and some great friends. My goal with this blog is to try to bring those three together, along with any other item that makes life just a little bit more interesting. So please, join me on this journey, and I do hope you enjoy the ride.


Stay classy readers,

-PG